Moved

So today my dad kicked me out of my house. I got home from work and my bedroom had been raided and everything emptied. Drawers, wardrobes, everything was packed in to refuse bags and placed in the kitchen ready for me to pick them up.

I don't understand but I guess I never will. I'm writing this from my sister's house at the moment. I wrote a letter to him and left it on the kitchen bench explaining how he is a poisonous person, has pushed every member of his family away from him, has no respect for me and that the moment the plane to Dubai leaves the runway will be the happiest moment of my life as I'll be away from him and I wont be coming back to the United Kingdom. Gave him my house key and blocked his number from contacting my phone.


His loss.

The Vaccination Saga

Firstly let me start off my short but sweet rant about the National Health Service by saying that I thoroughly respect all those who work within it and it's a fantastic service and as Britons we are very lucky to receive (mostly) free healthcare - taxpayer or not.

What I MASSIVELY DISLIKE HOWEVER is the system as a whole. I got to the Travel Clinic today and I had to wait an hour to be seen... people were coming in after me, seeing the Nurse and then leaving before me! The "Receptionists" (if you want to call them that - I'd say they were on school work experience or something) were crap and of no help.


Anyhow. I went in and got Hep A and Hep B and Yellow Fever. The Nurse gave me a little certificate confirming I had the Yellow Fever vaccination and I need to go back for my second and third Hep B jabs over the next two weeks. Three injections cost £147. But it was either - pay now and be skint or wait 'til I get to Dubai and get everything else apart from Yellow Fever (which needs to be done in your home country before travelling) done and have the money come out of my wages. Hmph.

I asked about the rest. Diptheria, Typhoid, Tetanus, Polio, Meningitis. "Oh you will have had the first four jabs when you were 14 or 15 but you won't be able to remember. You'll have to go to your old school and find out if they have your records to prove you've had them. You'll need a meningitis jab but we'll put Hep A and B in your left arm and Yellow Fever in your right."

I've had Chickenpox (I remember it well - Christmas Day 1997!) but I need to go get screened for immunity against it, which means another GP appointment. I need to get screened for Tuberculosis too because as I don't have a scar on my arm from the injection like most people do, I can't prove that I've had it and it's not on my health records. If I can get the TB info from my old school that'd be fabulous though.

I think this picture sums up my anger at the stupidity of some healthcare services in this otherwise glorious country:

I must go to sleep soon! I'm at work at 01:30. It's 19:38 now... but on the bright side I finish 07:30 tomorrow morning so when I'm finishing work, people are just getting ready to start their shift! Muahahaha. Update tomorrow on my whirlwind arm stabbing vaccination adventure xx

Suitcases

Today I bought my suitcases, wooo! I decided because I only needed them for a seven hour flight (EK will give me proper ones once I'm there) that cheap luggage will do. I went to a local sports shop that sells like sports clothing etc and fortunately they had the exact suitcases I was looking at on their website, which surprised me because that never usually happens - especially in smaller stores. Anyhow I ended up buying x1 32", x1 28" and x1 16" for hand luggage. How exciting! They were about £40 for the three of them which is awesome. Such a bargain.
 I'm allowed 50kg so these will do nicely. 

Tonight I'm gonna fill out the pre-flying workbook I had to print out (it's like 40 something pages long!) and I'm gonna answer some of the questions in there. I also have to fill in my exam paper to get my diploma in Aviation Security from work but its worded sooo badly, it's impossible to answer the questions because they're more like statements e.g. "Understands the importance of shutting down IT systems properly to ensure the safe storage of data"... how is that even a question?! Hmph.

Oh also I bought an iPad the other day - finally! I'm posting this from it now, actually. It's an iPad Mini and not a full sized one; I think a big one would be a nightmare to carry in my handbag so I bought a mini one and it's a perfect size! I got it for £253 I think - about £20 less than in the shops because I bought it at work in Duty Free, hur hur hur. I think Siri is sick of my voice already haha.

I need to do some more pre-joining shopping. Gonna rip it off like a band aid and buy everything at once and then just not have any money for the next week or so until payday.

- Vaccinations on Wednesday (about £382)

- Digital Camera

- Watch

- Vaccuum bags for suitcase

- New PJ's and slippers

- MAC lipstick (Ruby Woo)

Speak soon xx

The wheels are in motion...

It's been a long day!

Good news! My tooth (or lack of) doesn't hurt any more and the gum has nearly healed! Woop! The human body is a remarkable thing.

Anyway, now I'm lying on my sofa in a bit of a food coma, having eaten some sort of Thai thing out of a plastic bag that I had to microwave. It said it was rice with lemongrass and something sauce but it just tasted of fish. Rotten fish. Honestly it was like something I'd eat when I'm out-of-my-mind-drunk at 3am in the morning in the city lol. So let's recap what happened today...


It was my second day off today - woo! (I'm at work in 7 hours time, omg. I must go to sleep soon...) so I decided that after fifteen days of waiting for my blood tests I would go down to the clinic and demand them! I got there and for once there were two polite older ladies behind the counter who I spoke to and they said my results were in but the Nurse had to give me them because of confidentiality etc. Fiiine. So I was sitting in the waiting room feeling like someone off '16 and Pregnant' and in walks somebody I know. Omg. Lord knows what kind of penis shrivelling disease he had but I bet he thinks I had something too! All I was doing was picking up my results lol! By this time I was freaking out from waiting in case something was wrong but I kept my composure (if that counts as texting my mother to tell her I'll kill myself if anything comes back bad! lol). Anyway, fifteen minutes later they asked for payment and they then inform me that they don't take card. Boooooooo. So I had to walk to the nearest bank to withdraw £20 and take it back to them. They then gave me the results in a sealed envelope and I left...

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I could have jumped for joy hahahaha honestly I could tell you anything about any disease now after these two weeks. So it was good to have it in black and white and I have the green light to get ready to fly.


I went to the Doctor's to get my vaccinations sorted. I filled in several forms and waited. and waited. and waited. surrounded by sick people coughing their lungs up. Then the Nurse came out and said "Sorry, because you're going abroad for work purposes and not for a holiday we can't vaccinate you because a) your employer would have to pay for them b) we'd be liable if anything went wrong and c) we can't carry out a risk assessment on you" UM WHAT?! You are part of the NHS. The National Health Service. The service that is available to any British resident, taxpayer or not. I am a taxpayer. I am prepared to GIVE YOU MONEY AND CONTRIBUTE EVEN MORE TO THE NHS for these vaccinations, and you still won't take them?! I argued with her for a bit but she wasn't really listening. She went away and brought back a letter "for my employer" to read which says they have to pay for the vaccinations. Bullshit! I'm sure she just gave me it just to prove she was right. Anyway, I went to my mam's house in a rage and we looked at private clinics who would do it for me etc. But nooo nooo "we don't do vaccinations". Then I call Boots in Newcastle and I ask them if they'd do them "Oh yeah no problem!"
"How much is it?" I ask
"£382"

YOU WHAT?! That's $609USD, 456 euro, $652 AUD, 2239 AED. That is appalling. I wanted to buy an iPad with that money! I'll have to work overtime at work - I only have like six weeks or something left there *fistpump*.

So anyhow I'm there next Wednesday for them. Now I need to buy a digital camera and buy some suitcases -I think I'll order them online though. I need new summery clothes but again, I'll have to look online as all the shops are stocking up on their winter gear! I was gonna buy a winter coat the other day as I was freezing bu on the way to the shop I thought "wait, why am I buying a winter coat? hahahahaha" and turned around and went back to the car.

I'm digressing. After I went to my mam's house I visited my auntie. She could talk the back legs off a donkey and she stopped giving me birthday and christmas money when I turned 18 so I stopped going LOL. But I think it's only fair I should tell her I'm leaving the country etc. So I had a coffee at hers and actually didn't get scratched from one of her many cats this time! She has a new kitten - it was sooo cuuuttteee!!!


I got home and tidied my room (by 'tidied' I mean 'moved stuff around') and then I printed off alllll of the shit required for Emirates. Employment contracts, medical certificates, educational certificates etc. Bought myself a sexy new folder to put everything in. I swear, it's so heavy it'll take up half of my hand luggage allowance!

Tomorrow I hand in my letter of resignation. I can't wait, I'm gonna walk in to the office and slap it on their desks. I got an e-mail from Aer Lingus the other day saying I'd been unsuccessful in my application to work for them as Cabin Crew.

My immediate thought...?


LOL!!!

Airport Security

Some people love us, some people hate us. I'd say most people hate us... but I love us! Most of us. A few people go on a power trip and think they're police officers... but most don't. All of us are interested in aviation and keeping the skies safe though.

I have just finished work (well I lie, I had a pizza and watched some TV when I got home) but here I will use my little section of the interwebs to talk about how I see airport security from my perspective... an airport security officer.

Airport Security has a really bad reputation in the United States. I don't know why. They can't be that bad. The last time I was there I was like twelve years old and at Orlando Sanford and I can't remember passing through security at all. I do, however, love airport security in the United Kingdom. But I'm biased - I work for 'em ;)

Anyway, let me talk about my job and what you as a passenger can make it easier for you to get through to the departure lounge, and for me to have a less frustrating day.


#1 The Metal Detector

Let me explain one thing which confuses most passengers. A metal detector detects metal. You see that belt buckle you're wearing? Yep. That solid gold bangle around your wrist? Yup. The hundreds of hair pins you're wearing to keep your bun in place? Mmmhm. The clip-in hair extensions on your head, the change/mobile phone/keys in your pocket? All of that will set the alarm off. Foil will too - so keep your medication in your hand luggage and not in your pockets.

Artificial joints will set the alarm off. Shoulders, elbows, hips, knees, ankles. All of 'em. One or two pins in your body won't, nor will a hearing aid. But an entire joint made of titanium certainly will and those individuals require searching just as much as anyone else. Imagine if they didn't get searched and they set the alarm off - using their replacement knee to mask the fact they've got a gun in their waistband?

Your tooth fillings, contraceptive coil, stud earrings, hair band, nose stud, belly bar, wedding ring will not set an airport metal detector off. Can you imagine if it did? Jesus, I'd never be able to have a day off! Every passenger would have to be searched! On the odd occasion, the underwire in a bra WILL set the alarm off but I find it's only if they're very expensive and worn by the bigger busted lady.

Some shoes have steel supports in the sole to keep them in shape. High heels and wedges have those supports AND a nail running through the heel to support the material. If there is enough metal in your shoe, you WILL set the alarm off and get a friskin'. The eyelets on your Converse hi-tops will not set it off. Your rubber flip flops with a small metal buckle will not set it off. Your 5" killer Louboutins will.

The metal detector will go off randomly and it will go off when it detects too much metal on an individual. So if you set the alarm off without any shit in your pockets, don't blame it on the button on your jeans - you were just the unlucky one to pass through it when it chose a random person. Phone in your pocket? The machine detected that on you.

If I ask you to remove something from your person before you head to the metal detector, don't assume it's because I'm being an arse and I'm on a power trip. I'm not - I just know the probability of you setting the alarm off with that particular item on your body is high and to reduce the chance of you getting searched and my colleagues having to search you I am asking you to remove it. I am trying to save you time.

One more thing... DO NOT TOUCH IT! Do not touch the sides of the metal detector! It will light up like a Las Vegas slot machine if you touch it and you'll need to be searched. It also is a pain in the ass for us to have to do, too.

"Every time! I get searched every time I fly through this airport!"
"Oh, do you travel often?!"
"Once every few years..."


#2 Taking Items Out of Your Bag

Often I get asked why stuff needs to be taken from bags and be placed in to a black tray to go through the x-ray separately. Let me explain this. In the airport I work at, all electrical items must come out of luggage and in to hand bags. Yes, mobile phones and cameras are electrical. It's surprising how many people don't grasp this.

If you leave all of your shit in your luggage, something like this appears on my screen. When I see bags like that I always think what the fuck is all of this? I can't see through it - I literally can't see what's inside your bag. Is there a knife hidden amongst all of that? Is there something more sinister in there? The bag will get searched and items taken out. I will look at it again on the x-ray and see if there's anything in your bag that shouldn't be. Occasionally, there will be perfectly innocent items in a bag that are lying on such an angle that it makes them look a bit dodgy. These too will be searched to make sure it's not what I think it is.

Oversized liquids will be seized and sharp objects such as corkscrews, knives, forks, scissors etc will be confiscated. Don't complain about the rules because you'd be the first to ask "Why didn't security do their jobs properly?" if someone took out a pair of scissors on an aircraft and started attacking people. Also, the chances are that before getting to the search area you passed a million bajillion signs saying what is and isn't allowed in hand luggage. Playing the "I didn't know" card doesn't really work.


#3 Saying Stupid Stuff at the Airport

I know people get nervous at airport security. I know they do. You see it all the time - people nervously laughing and talking nonsense to us (I think nerves take over and they just say anything to make them not seem SuSpIcIoUs!) but what really grinds my gears is when people have the audacity to say things like:

"That was a nice search, I'm pleased you didn't find the knife in my shoe"
"Did you not see the bomb in my bag?"
"I've got a gun"

The above are things which I hear quite regularly from passengers. I'm sure they're meant as a nervous type of joke but is it worth the risk of being offloaded and being denied your flight? Needless to say, they get their stuff thoroughly checked and they get searched again. It's just a massive inconvenience to say stuff like that. It holds everybody up and it makes you look like an arsehole.


#4 Getting Your Bag Searched

Please let me search your bag. Please don't dive in there and start telling me "Oh I bet it was this that you're looking for!" as you pull out a small set of keys. Let me do my job. I know exactly what's inside your bag as I have seen the contents on the x-ray, therefore I know exactly what I'm looking for. If I swab your bag with a piece of cloth attached to a stick-type wand, I am not looking for drugs. I couldn't give a flying fuck about drugs - that's Custom's job, not mine. What I care about is that you're not going to blow the plane up therefore I am swabbing your bag to make sure there are no traces of explosives on any of your items.

To sum it up... if you're nice, listen to what we try to tell you (which will ultimately help you out in the grand scheme of things), don't act like a prick and generally behave yourself when going through airport security you will not have a problem.


That's all I can think of for now. I'm sure I'll be able to think of more after work tomorrow but for now, I think this will do. I'll hopefully get my blood test results back tomorrow - they're taking the piss with this! Goodnight! xx

I got a printer and a tooth out

I was at work a few days ago when I got an e-mail on my break from EK HR. It said that I was overdue to upload my documents by seven days! SEVEN DAYS!!! I'm never overdue to do anything! So cue major panic from me! I was flapping around my colleagues wondering what to do. I needed a printer and a scanner as the stuff had to be uploaded THAT NIGHT. By the time I finished work it was 10pm. All I can say is thank the good lord for 24hr supermarkets! I managed to get a wireless printer/scannier/copier, ink and paper (and some chocolate...) for £39.50 - what a bargain! I printed all the stuff out, filled it in and then got the forms uploaded back on to the Candidate Portal that night.

Speaking of chocolate... I got a tooth out too. All I can say is OUCH. I regret living my childhood like a kid in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory hahaha.

I went to the dentist on 11th September so my lovely dentist could have a look at my teefs. I handed her the form EK gave me and she studied it very hard, then we got down to business! I had a scale and polish, a filling (upper right 5) and a few x-rays. I have no wisdom teeth! (upper/lower 8 on both sides) I was very surprised. I thought everyone had wisdom teeth and I thought I was a bit of a freak for not having any yet but she said I don't even have any ready to come through my jaw. So anyway EK stressed on the form that I couldn't have any termporary fillings in my mouth. And of course I had a temp' filling in one of my molars (UR 6) so the dentist said she would take the filling out and replace it with a new one. As she was removing it she was talking about Emirates and how she liked the flights when she goes to India etc. Of course I couldn't reply so I was like "Ahh!" "Oooh" "Awww". If I had spoken I probably would have ended up with a drill going through my cheek.

"Uh oh" I heard her say.

WHAT?!

"There's not... anything, under the filling. Your nerve is exposed - if I put a permanent filling on top of it you'd be in a lot of pain and the filling wouldn't stick to the tooth so it'd fall out instantly. I think it needs to come out."

NO! Naw naw naw naw naw naw naw! I already had one out ages ago, I don't want another one out :( the dentist got the practice manager in to the room who reviewed the document from EK and then had a peek inside my mouth. She said they wouldn't declare me dentally fit unless it was removed.

THE THINGS I DO FOR THIS JOB!


So out it came. She was pulling and pulling and I thought my jaw was going to come away from my skull. After a few minutes of tugging I heard a crack. And we both looked at each other like "shit" - the root had snapped, so the dentist had to dig in with a pair of forceps to get it out. Of course this was all under local anaesthetic so I was like "well this doesn't hurt at all!" and I was laughing throughout the whole procedure.

I then had to pay the not so bad sum of £49 for all of the above which really isn't bad at all (although I still begrudge having to pay for a service which the NHS should provide free of charge to everyone. I pay my bloody taxes!) and then they signed and stamped my form to upload to EK.

Oh how I regretted laughing when I got home. I had to change the gauze twice as it soaked in blood and then I took two paracetamol and thought "I'm gonna go to sleep - I can't deal with this pain!" honestly it hurt SO bad. I woke up and was spitting blood, and then my health anxiety kicked in and I researched articles about dying from getting teeth taken out etc and needless to say I found lots of stories about people bleeding to death and what not. Joys! It stopped bleeding after about six hours though.

Yesterday (12th Sept) it didn't hurt tooooo badly. Today it did. In fact, right now it itches. ITCHES. You know when something like a scratch is healing and it itches? It's like that. But I can't really itch my gum can I?

I've said the word 'itch' far to much in this post. I will stop...

I got wrong at work today, apparently I was searching passengers incorrectly. I blamed it on the toothache and being hungry but I think really it was down to having two hours sleep the night before. I got home and had a nap with my little ginger dog, who is currently lying on my head.


Still waiting on my blood results. Obsessive thoughts are in oooooooverdrive. But I'm sure everything will be fine. It's only been 8 working days. Working days. So it could be Tuesday by the time I find out if I'm a healthy human being.


Speak soon xx

Bloody Blood Tests

Hiyaaa. I got my sheet of medicals to do for my VISA. Holy Moly there are A LOT! I've booked my dentist appointment for next week but I went for my blood tests yesterday - HIV/Hep B/Syphillis. CUE MAJOR FREAK OUT. FOR NO REASON.

I've never been a freak around blood until last year, I think. So getting my blood taken was just minging. 

I went the day before to get it done after work (2nd Sept) as I had to go to a Sexual Health Clinic rather than the GP's as the GP said "We don't do tests for employment purposes". Hmph. So anyhow, off to he SHC I went only to be told "You've just missed the Nurse by ten minutes! You can try the other clinic a few streets away to see if there's another Nurse there or not" so off to this other Clinic I went. I got there and told Reception that I was emigrating and I needed these blood tests and the girl goes to see the Nurse upstairs who said that "today we're just doing family planning - contraception etc but you can make an appointment with her for tomorrow at the Clinic you've just been to as she'll be there, then. If you go upstairs she'll have a word with you and book you in" so I went upstairs and started talking to her about Dubai etc and then I burst in to tears! lol! I was having SUCH a panic attack over these three diseases.

"BUT WHAT IF I HAVE THESE DISEASES - MY LIFE IS OVER! THE DREAM IS OVER! DUBAI WON'T LET ME IN!!!"
"Denise..."
"NO! I'M SO PARANOID ABOUT TOUCHING THINGS IN CASE THEY ARE DISEASED, I'M SUCH A FREAK WAAAAAAAA"
"Denise! Unless you've slept with twenty African heroin users I wouldn't even consider you to be a risk for any disease."
"But my great great Grandma had Syphillis! She died from it! SHE DIED! Could I have it?!"
"No Denise..."

So anyhow she told me to stop looking up information on the internet cos I was only scaring myself and I had to go to the Clinic I'd just been to the following day. Off I went yesterday (3rd Sept) and filled out a form and I sat and waited. The same Nurse I saw yesterday asked me in the room and I sort of walked in embarrassed and said "Sorry for being such a weirdo yesterday..." and she just laughed lol. Anyway she took my blood after spending ages trying to aggravate my veins as they were tiny, they're off to the lab in the local hospital now to be tested and I'll get a text saying positive/negative in the next seven to ten days.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Golden Call!

Submitted Online Application: 7th July 2013

*Applied*

Open Day: 27th July 2013

*Under Review*

Assessment Day: 28th July 2013

Final Interview: 30th July 2013

Approval In Progress: 26th August 2013

You Will Be Contacted: 29th August 2013

I GOT MY GOLDEN CALL!
01.09.2013
Date of Joining: 15.11.2013

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! How exciting. I'd kept hold of my phone all day at work (all night? 2am - 9am? bah - what even is day and night anymore doing shift work like that) and as soon as I walked through the door my Dad said "have you heard anything yet?" and I said "Dad - it's like... 11am in Dubai, they'll probably be busy and..." RING RIIIIIIIIIIING

"THIS IS THEM SHH! SHHHH!!!"

It was a very crackly line - hard to hear the lady but I heard key words such as congratulations, cabin crew, successful, do not resign, 15th November. Wooooooooo!

So I have like 10 weeks to get my shit together and 8 weeks until I finish work - this is going to DRAG.

I'm gonna miss my boys. xx