Some people love us, some people hate us. I'd say most people hate us... but I love us! Most of us. A few people go on a power trip and think they're police officers... but most don't. All of us are interested in aviation and keeping the skies safe though.
I have just finished work (well I lie, I had a pizza and watched some TV when I got home) but here I will use my little section of the interwebs to talk about how I see airport security from my perspective... an airport security officer.
Airport Security has a really bad reputation in the United States. I don't know why. They can't be that bad. The last time I was there I was like twelve years old and at Orlando Sanford and I can't remember passing through security at all. I do, however, love airport security in the United Kingdom. But I'm biased - I work for 'em ;)
Anyway, let me talk about my job and what you as a passenger can make it easier for you to get through to the departure lounge, and for me to have a less frustrating day.
#1 The Metal Detector
Let me explain one thing which confuses most passengers. A metal detector detects metal. You see that belt buckle you're wearing? Yep. That solid gold bangle around your wrist? Yup. The hundreds of hair pins you're wearing to keep your bun in place? Mmmhm. The clip-in hair extensions on your head, the change/mobile phone/keys in your pocket? All of that will set the alarm off. Foil will too - so keep your medication in your hand luggage and not in your pockets.
Artificial joints will set the alarm off. Shoulders, elbows, hips, knees, ankles. All of 'em. One or two pins in your body won't, nor will a hearing aid. But an entire joint made of titanium certainly will and those individuals require searching just as much as anyone else. Imagine if they didn't get searched and they set the alarm off - using their replacement knee to mask the fact they've got a gun in their waistband?
Your tooth fillings, contraceptive coil, stud earrings, hair band, nose stud, belly bar, wedding ring will not set an airport metal detector off. Can you imagine if it did? Jesus, I'd never be able to have a day off! Every passenger would have to be searched! On the odd occasion, the underwire in a bra WILL set the alarm off but I find it's only if they're very expensive and worn by the bigger busted lady.
Some shoes have steel supports in the sole to keep them in shape. High heels and wedges have those supports AND a nail running through the heel to support the material. If there is enough metal in your shoe, you WILL set the alarm off and get a friskin'. The eyelets on your Converse hi-tops will not set it off. Your rubber flip flops with a small metal buckle will not set it off. Your 5" killer Louboutins will.
The metal detector will go off randomly and it will go off when it detects too much metal on an individual. So if you set the alarm off without any shit in your pockets, don't blame it on the button on your jeans - you were just the unlucky one to pass through it when it chose a random person. Phone in your pocket? The machine detected that on you.
If I ask you to remove something from your person before you head to the metal detector, don't assume it's because I'm being an arse and I'm on a power trip. I'm not - I just know the probability of you setting the alarm off with that particular item on your body is high and to reduce the chance of you getting searched and my colleagues having to search you I am asking you to remove it. I am trying to save you time.
One more thing... DO NOT TOUCH IT! Do not touch the sides of the metal detector! It will light up like a Las Vegas slot machine if you touch it and you'll need to be searched. It also is a pain in the ass for us to have to do, too.
"Every time! I get searched every time I fly through this airport!"
"Oh, do you travel often?!"
"Once every few years..."
#2 Taking Items Out of Your Bag
Often I get asked why stuff needs to be taken from bags and be placed in to a black tray to go through the x-ray separately. Let me explain this. In the airport I work at, all electrical items must come out of luggage and in to hand bags. Yes, mobile phones and cameras are electrical. It's surprising how many people don't grasp this.
If you leave all of your shit in your luggage, something like this appears on my screen. When I see bags like that I always think what the fuck is all of this? I can't see through it - I literally can't see what's inside your bag. Is there a knife hidden amongst all of that? Is there something more sinister in there? The bag will get searched and items taken out. I will look at it again on the x-ray and see if there's anything in your bag that shouldn't be. Occasionally, there will be perfectly innocent items in a bag that are lying on such an angle that it makes them look a bit dodgy. These too will be searched to make sure it's not what I think it is.
Oversized liquids will be seized and sharp objects such as corkscrews, knives, forks, scissors etc will be confiscated. Don't complain about the rules because you'd be the first to ask "Why didn't security do their jobs properly?" if someone took out a pair of scissors on an aircraft and started attacking people. Also, the chances are that before getting to the search area you passed a million bajillion signs saying what is and isn't allowed in hand luggage. Playing the "I didn't know" card doesn't really work.
#3 Saying Stupid Stuff at the Airport
I know people get nervous at airport security. I know they do. You see it all the time - people nervously laughing and talking nonsense to us (I think nerves take over and they just say anything to make them not seem SuSpIcIoUs!) but what really grinds my gears is when people have the audacity to say things like:
"That was a nice search, I'm pleased you didn't find the knife in my shoe"
"Did you not see the bomb in my bag?"
"I've got a gun"
The above are things which I hear quite regularly from passengers. I'm sure they're meant as a nervous type of joke but is it worth the risk of being offloaded and being denied your flight? Needless to say, they get their stuff thoroughly checked and they get searched again. It's just a massive inconvenience to say stuff like that. It holds everybody up and it makes you look like an arsehole.
#4 Getting Your Bag Searched
Please let me search your bag. Please don't dive in there and start telling me "Oh I bet it was this that you're looking for!" as you pull out a small set of keys. Let me do my job. I know exactly what's inside your bag as I have seen the contents on the x-ray, therefore I know exactly what I'm looking for. If I swab your bag with a piece of cloth attached to a stick-type wand, I am not looking for drugs. I couldn't give a flying fuck about drugs - that's Custom's job, not mine. What I care about is that you're not going to blow the plane up therefore I am swabbing your bag to make sure there are no traces of explosives on any of your items.
To sum it up... if you're nice, listen to what we try to tell you (which will ultimately help you out in the grand scheme of things), don't act like a prick and generally behave yourself when going through airport security you will not have a problem.
That's all I can think of for now. I'm sure I'll be able to think of more after work tomorrow but for now, I think this will do. I'll hopefully get my blood test results back tomorrow - they're taking the piss with this! Goodnight! xx
